New Ottomans ░ ░ ░ ░ Enemies of Marriage

ENEMIES OF MARRIAGES

Criticism
"You're always like that. I already listen to me one day get even. Always yelling. Thumbs. Filan take lesson from her husband. I enjoy taking on the grieving that" expressions, his wife, accusatory, judgmental and offensive criticism. However, communication with "I" can say that the language we use eşimize said: "I am very upset because of this promise, or behavior, had a disappointment." This statement is softer, the event also reflects the sentiment of people favorably affect his wife.

Generalization
"Always so. So do you. Already you or anyone else expected. Selfish. Değişmiyorsun ever. The habits your mother, your father infected. One day you can see the good side?" style expressions, his wife put in a mold and damgalayan expressions. Think logically, seeing your partner as you said it "always so", does not change for years, so what you changed, to what extent? Work to start changing yourself.

Read your mind
The relationship began to deteriorate and the unhappiness of marriage together into distances. Continuous fighting, sadness, silence and our own worlds, pushes the pair at some point. But here, instead of verbal communication non-verbal communication, ie, acts out the meanings, his wife, the trial process begins. "Huh, mad again. Looks I get it. You did not want to say so. What's in your head, I know very well." Style approaches, the spouse and gestures of a gesture, intended to remove the state of the meanings and actions.

Let 'ride
Over time, one of the spouses has been a change in a positive or a negative attitude people gave up and went to the doctor dinlenilmiş the other spouse: "I told you 10 years, but listen to me, when I say the end came. Is anyone else more precious deyince's going on?" in the form of speeches, his wife, upset and rotate back in style. However, "due to this change, I am very happy, happy. Come let's plan together; other nelerimizi change, talk to them" in the style of a dialogue is established and for the continuation of positive changes have been encouraged to become pekişir.

Drawbacks in the past to remind
Everyone in her marriage, lived in the past has a negative memory. Family fights, the hurt, betrayals, humiliation and frustrations. Leads to trouble in the past to deal with bad memories and problems constantly reinforces.

Always be justified
Errors, inaccuracies caused by the two sides even though the "Who's more right?" he literally "court" is established. "I'm not start any fights during the marriage. You always treat me bad, insult me. All the problems caused by you." This kind of pattern words, congestion on the classic words of marriage. But before we look at the "Where is the error I am doing, what could be wrong?" I need to think about. Continuing to see the other side unfairly simplistic aspect of the job.

Irresponsibility
Family burden of excessive stress on one side slid tense and angry people can do the installation. So no need to strive to jointly work to be done, regardless of gender discrimination. On the other hand, due to deterioration in the relationship, "You just drive me, crazy, so angry," instead of "relationship with you is hard and sometimes I can not control my anger" in the style konuşulsa, also reveals itself to people and the responsibility is shared, so blaming his wife, care of the problem away, conveys the message on to be considered.

Logical approach
"Either show me a good reason, say çürüt, or accept me." Approach to the relationship between marriage work mixing approach. Marital roles, emotions, sexuality, and many variables play a role. Ourselves "exoneration" to deceive ourselves in the logic put forward consists of event.

Interrupt
The most important thing in communication, speaking of people listen to the end, it is necessary to enter in between. Listen, understand and have to tell ourselves. The way to respect and listen to the tone of voice yükseltmemektir.

The therapist approach
Spouse, no matter how interested and experienced, rather than the doctor himself koymamalı because it does not change a thing, listen to his wife, and encounters resistance. Therefore, "a good wife, friend, lover," not care how it should behave like that.



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(Do not take the decision anger, happiness uçtuğunuzda promise. Both of them a moment of intoxication, the mind is not mainly)

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